Don’t tell me it’s just a phase, I’ve been sad for 3 fucking years. This isn’t just a phase
Every time, I think everything’s going really well. I mean, I try really hard. It all fucks up. And I think that… maybe I’m just one of those people that… doesn’t deserve… to be happy.
I am not too sure of who I am because there are several of me. They float up from me like phantoms and slink off to commit acts for which I may or may not be responsible.
A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not // Bright Eyes
As you try to find some source of light, try to name one thing you like. You used to have such a longer list and light, you never had to look for it.
It’s an Every Day And Every Night kinda day.
"Ojalá" · Silvio Rodríguez
Ojalá las paredes no retengan tu ruido de camino cansado.
Ojalá que el deseo se vaya tras de ti,
A tu viejo gobierno de difuntos y flores.
We have begun to understand the extraordinary violence that has been done to us, that is being done to us: how our minds are aborted in their development by sexist education; how our bodies are violated by oppressive grooming imperatives; how the police function against us in cases of rape and assault; how the media, schools, and churches conspire to deny us dignity and freedom; how the nuclear family and ritualized sexual behavior imprison us in roles and forms which are degrading to us. We developed consciousness-raising sessions to try to fathom the extraordinary extent of our despair, to try to search out the depth and boundaries of our internalized anger, to try to find strategies for freeing our
selves from oppressive relationships, from masochism and passivity, from our own lack of self-respect. There was both pain and ecstasy in this process.
The myth that “beauty is power” is actually super destructive because it tricks young women into thinking that if men want them, they will be empowered, which is, alas, not true. Because the kind of “power” that comes from having men lust after you is fleeting and holds no real weight in the grand scheme of things. It might make you feel good momentarily, until you realize that men don’t respect you because they like your boobs, nor will your fuckability bring things like political power and freedom from male violence. As long as women are seen as (and see themselves as) pretty, sexy objects, they will continue to to be viewed and treated, primarily, as sex-holes for men (i.e. not full human beings but the kind of beings who were invented for men to use and abuse and play with and then discard when they get bored).
I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me…I’m lying here waiting for sleep to overtake me.